


I See

by LostintheFandom



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse of Personal Space, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I don't hate Megatron, I don't usually write things like this so i'm tagging what I can, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Reconciliation, Referenced Emotional/Psychological Abuse, RodiMags Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 02:51:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14178921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostintheFandom/pseuds/LostintheFandom
Summary: Abuse, like any other pattern, is nigh impossible to find but blatant once spotted. Magnus' involvement in it, passive as it may have been, is hard for the SiC to overlook or avoid regretting.But this is Transformers, everything will eventually work out for the better, usually.This is my first and possibly only contribution to Rodimags Week as I may not have the time to write more.





	I See

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vienn_peridot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vienn_peridot/gifts).



Ultra Magnus walked through the Lost Light with concentrated expression as he proofread his report for the seventh time. Once again he was struck by swell of pride at the complete lack of errors within it. If only the youths of today wrote their reports like this.

He tucked the datapad under his arm as he continued down to the control room. As he came by the door and prepared to punch in the code, he paused. A frown settled over his face as he heard Megatron’s raised voice.

“We’re cycles behind and _an entire lightyear off-course_ because of your unnecessary sidequests and your constant blunders!”

Magnus had been among the many reluctant to allow Megatron on board, let alone as Captain. However, he had served under Optimus for many years and trusted the old Prime, that did nothing to settle his unease however. First Drift and now Megatron. Two too many _ex_ -decepticons on the ship for his liking.

Although Drift had earned his place, Magnus was pressed to admit, and Megatron made for good company when the mood struck him.

“Sidequests!? Those mechs were going to die we _had_ to help them!”

“They had a perfectly good transport and it would have remained perfectly good if you hadn’t gone and _wrecked_ it!”

Magnus punched in the code and the door slid open with a small hiss. Neither of the room’s two occupants seemed to notice him as the shouting continued.

“I didn’t wreck it! It was shot! You saw-”

“Enough, Rodimus.”

Magnus frowned as he stepped further into the room. Rodimus was practically backed into the wall. Megatron’s massive and bulky frame was leaning over him and the light from his red optics bounced off the smaller’s plating.

“No, it’s not _enough_ ,” Rodimus snapped though he didn’t change his pose from where he was leaning slightly away from Megatron. “You’re blaming me for something I didn’t-”

“I said _ENOUGH!_ ”

Rodimus’ back hit the wall when a massive black finger pocked his chestplate harshly. He flinched slightly when Megatron leaned closer to him.

“You are incompetent, irresponsible, _and_ immature! Everything is a joke to you! How this crew survived so long with you at the helm is a miracle on its own, how _you_ survived without a sparklingsitter is a different story entirely!”

Rodimus was silent as he was berated. His optics were wide but were slowly returning to their original size. The small tremble in his servos didn’t fade though. His lipplates formed a tight line that trembled minutely at the corners.

Magnus deposited his report on the desk and approached the pair who had yet to notice him. “Captain?” he said carefully, eyeing the two. Megatron straightened with a huff and faced him while Rodimus sagged and looked at the floor with a frown and a pout.

Megatron spotted the report on the desk and gave a thin smile, as though his exchange with Rodimus hadn’t happened. “At least _someone_ knows how to do their job,” he said as he strolled past Magnus and gave him a pat on the shoulder. Somehow the gesture, which had once made him feel accomplished, now made him feel uncomfortable. “You are dismissed.”

Magnus turned to Rodimus only to see him stomp out of the room with his arms wrapped around himself. He followed after the young Prime with quick steps but didn’t miss Megatron’s snide comment on Rodimus’ “childishness.”

He just barely caught the red glint of Rodimus’ plating as he turned a corner and followed. His large strides caught up to the young mech swiftly. “Rodimus,” he said softly and then again when the younger didn’t respond.

“What?” Rodimus said snappishly but it didn’t have an effect on Magnus.

“I…” he what? He had no idea what? He had no idea what he was doing right now. “Are you alright?” Well done, Magnus… well done.

Rodimus gave a snort. “I’m fantastic,” he spat sarcastically. “Fragging lovely. I- I,” his voice hitched momentarily and he chuckled drily. “Look at me,” he grumbled as he punched in the code to his hab suite before walking in and leaving it open, Magnus took it as an invitation. “I’m a mess.”

The door slid shut behind Magnus and he came to sit at Rodimus’ desk as the young Prime slumped down on his berth. He didn’t say anything and waited for the Prime to continue.

“I’m- I feel,” Rodimus hesitated as he wrung his servos together. “I can’t _do_ this anymore,” he murmured.

“Excuse me,” Magnus tilted his head at the near-silent admission.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Rodimus said louder this time. “I can’t- I don’t- I don’t _know_ what to do anymore! Nobody’s ever satisfied, everyone is disappointed. Megatron is never happy. Before you know it Drift and Ratchet and- and _you_ will join that group and by then I might as well just up and leave!” His voice rose to a shout. “No one will notice! And on the off chance that they do, no one will care!” A single drop of cleaning fluid rolled down the Prime’s faceplate. Then another and another rolled down Rodimus’ face and were roughly rubbed off by his servos as his spoiler sagged and his shoulder’s shook.

Magnus was taken aback by the outburst. He sat there awkwardly as Rodimus seemed to curl into himself. After a moment he stood and carefully approached the mech on the berth. He sat down on the soft gel surface but the shift seemed to pull Rodimus back into the real world.

“I-I’m sorry,” Rodimus hiccupped as he hurriedly wiped at his tears. “I’m a horrible captain. _Look_ at me!”

Magnus was silent for a moment as Rodimus stared at him with moist optics and his arms spread wide and his lips trembling, as though waiting for scathing remark. “I am looking at you, Rodimus,” was all he said and the Prime seemed startled.

They stared at each other in silence. After a moment Magnus hesitantly and awkwardly extended an arm. When Rodimus didn’t react the arm looped around the small Prime’s shoulders and slowly and carefully drew him close. The Prime remained frozen with his optics staring up at Magnus in surprise. Only when Magnus drew him against his chassis did Rodimus move.

Rodimus allowed himself to lean against the enormous frame and buried his face in the blue chestplates. “He’s right,” Rodimus mumbled and Magnus strained to hear him.

“Who?” Magnus asked.

“Megatron,” Rodimus bit out. “I can’t lead for slag. They should have put you in charge.”

Magnus slowly ran his thumb up and down Rodimus’ side. “I don’t believe so,” he said, continuing despite Rodimus’ wry chuckle. “I’m not a leader anymore, I am a follower. _You_ are not a follower, never were. I have perhaps been blind to a lot of the commendable acts you have accomplished. I have been blind to the full extent of the situations you’ve seemingly led us into.”

Rodimus vented quietly as Magnus spoke.

“I have turned a blind optic of Megatron’s treatment towards you. I have not stopped to evaluate the honesty of his words or the extent of his reintegration. Thinking of it now, I find validity in your words of caution. I… I begin to- to _doubt_ Optimus’ confidence in Megatron’s reformation.”

 _That_ got a reaction of the Prime nestled against him as he glanced up to his SiC and old friend.

“Optimus is very idealistic,” Magnus spoke softly as he continued to rub Rodimus’ side. “His dedication to his ideals have sometimes led him astray. His faith in others also. Legally and morally, Optimus had no right to give Megatron Captaincy without your veto. He had no right to so much as put him in your crew. That they, that _I,_ paid no mind to your righteous protests is a great insult to you and your authority. One for which I apologize and for which I do not expect forgiveness.”

Rodimus was now openly staring, leaning back in order to meet his optics. The tremble in his lip returned.

“That I never noticed your mistreatment,” Magnus continued with his optics downcast, not meeting his rightful Captain’s gaze. “Is a wrong for which I expect no forgiveness. I’ve not had much time to muse on much of what Megatron said recently and in the past but it is easy to see the violation of your emotional, mental, and physical space. It now becomes evident to me that his actions, and mine through my ignorance, have not left you unaffected. For that I apologize.

“That I never noticed, the toll leadership took on you and the isolation it forced upon you, proves not you as an incapable leader but myself as an incapable second in command and,” he met Rodimus’ gaze then, “as an incapable friend. For that I apologize and deserve no forgiveness.”

Rodimus said nothing.

“You asked me to look at you, Rodimus. Only now I realize that I failed to ever truly do so. I look at you, my true Captain, and I see a young, burdened mech. A talented, capable leader who, due to his crew’s ignorance, was never given the chance to prove himself. I see a superior whom I failed to serve. I see the victim of a crime which I failed to stop. I see a- a _friend_ whom I failed. Period.

“I cannot speak for the crew but for all slights which are my own, I apologize. I-”

“Stop…”

“Excuse me?”

“I said ‘stop’,” Rodimus mumbled as he stared up at him. “Stop apologizing, stop acting as if- as if you’ve done nothing for me. Stop speaking of failure as if you were ever capable of it.”

“But Rodimus-”

“Don’t,” Rodimus cut him off as he rested his helm back against Magnus’ chassis. “So you didn’t notice some mechs’ off moments. So you didn’t notice a few of _my_ off moments. We would have _never_ gotten where we are if we didn’t have at least _someone_ who knew how to do their job.”

“Rodimus-”

“If it’s forgiveness that worries you then you can have it. I forgive you for whatever you think you’ve done wrong.”

“Rodimus, I-”

“On _one_ condition,” Rodimus said and Magnus nodded encouragingly. “Stay… stay with me tonight.”

Magnus hesitated. _It’s inappropriate and there’s work to be done,_ was right on his glossa but he swallowed it down as he looked at Rodimus’ hopeful expression. Propriety and reports did not outweigh the Captain’s- Rodimus’ health and wellbeing. “Very well.”

Rodimus sat there for a moment, wondering how they’d manoeuver themselves into even a vaguely comfortable position. To both their surprise it was Magnus who got them moving. Rodimus stiffened slightly when large arms lifted him before the blue mech shuffled awkwardly back until he was leaning against the headboard of the berth before very hesitantly and lightly setting Rodimus on his lap, giving the smaller mech full opportunity to move if necessary.

Magnus sat there stiffly as Rodimus shifted in his lap, trying to find a comfortable position against him. He released a vent he didn’t know he was holding once Rodimus relaxed against him. The Prime nestled against the large blue chassis behind him. “Thank you,” he murmured.

“Do not,” Magnus said as he slowly and carefully wrapped an arm around the Prime’s waist at the smaller’s insistence. “It is time I took my duties, not only as your second in command, but as your friend with the gravity they deserve. That _you_ deserve.”

Rodimus shifted awkwardly at the consideration. “Always so formal,” he said with a small grin as his optics dimmed tiredly. “I hope you’re not like that when you take your partners to berth,” he teased though it lacked the usual cocky tone.

Instead of being mortified, as he usually would have been, Magnus merely tightened his hold on Rodimus as he leaned back further, making a more comfortable position for the smaller mech. “Go to recharge,” he murmured lowly as he ran a large finger over Rodimus’ abdominal plating. “We’ll try to fix things tomorrow.”

Rodimus hummed as his optics dimmed further. Fixing things sounded nice, it’s been a while since anything’s been fixed. He fell into recharge to the soft rumbling of Magnus’s engine and the hum of the Lost Light.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I must say that I do not hate Megatron nor do I hate fics where he is an honest to Primus, reformed, good guy. In fact I enjoy them a lot and I enjoy the character a lot.
> 
> The inspiration for this fic comes from [this meta.](https://metaformers.tumblr.com/post/159995586693/megatron-and-abuse)
> 
> The meta is incredibly long and very thorough in its analysis of Megatron and Rodimus' relationship and interactions throughout MTMTE. It shook me deeply and I don't believe I can look at Megarod the same again. That however, doesn't mean that I am about to tell you to stop shipping it or enjoying it.
> 
> I am not an expert and I never will claim to be one. However researching and exploring such themes helps me cope with some personal issues. Serious themes like these will be rare from me but they will happen occasionally.
> 
> If anyone would like to ever discuss anything you can find me [here on Tumblr.](http://gotlostinthefandom.tumblr.com/) My ask box and Messages are always open for everyone.


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